I just want to get my girlfriend back.

From Botched Parakeet, 4 Months ago, written in Plain Text, viewed 65 times.
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  8. # 2 I can empathize with. The way I cope is to remind myself that I work to live and not vice versa... Also, an outside may interest help - something your wife feels really passionate about. May perhaps help to put all the work-related aggravation into perspective?
  10. # 3 I suffer from at times too. My husband deals with this by telling me what a competent and beautiful woman I am, and reminds me of some of my past achievements. Usually works!
  12. I agree that many - myself + DH included - would find corner-time and loss of priviliges 'demeaning'. I guess I was grasping at straws there...
  14. Your conclusion that we have a 'greater level of inequality than (you are) trying to attain with (your) wife' is far off the mark! Our relationsip, compared with many other DD couples, is very equal. I run my own business and deal with all the finances. We certainly share all the big decisions, although I tend to defer to him in everyday matters. This is by choice - in fact my husband insists that he does not want me to obey him! [It dawned on me after about 15 years of frequent bickering (over emptying the dishwasher, doing the ironing and other such nonsense) that our lives would run more easily this way; funny thing is that since I let him have his way he has become so much more attentive to my needs. Go figure!]
  16. You say that your wife 'is not turned on by the eroticism of spanking. In fact, that seems to be the whole point. If she liked it, we would have to find something else'. I do not understand - why would you have to find something else? Maybe if you could find some erotic connection, the 'intimate connection' between the two of you might also be enhanced!
  18. As far as punishment is concerned: I don't get punished! (a) my husband doesn't believe in it; (b) I'm far too well behaved ;-)... Seriously, though, the motivations for spanking are so difficult to verbalize - it really is not rational. My husband may say that I need it because I was disrespectful (a big no-no, but happens very rarely), or because I had a glass of wine without permission, but these are clearly not the real issues. (BTW, permission to booze is something *I* asked for to help me keep my weight down - my DH would not dream of imposing such requirements!) Underlying all this is my need to be submissive and feel his authority. I would call it sensual rather than erotic. And somehow it seems to enhance the connection between us in an almost spiritual way. But there is real discipline mixed in there as well - somewhere.
  20. I know I'm not making myself clear. I expect you wife's feelings are associated with similar confusions (though I expect they lie even deeper beneath the surface than mine). Also, I'm not sure about your plan for 'Part 2' - 'the punishment, where her having "had enough" is quite irrelevant'. I fear you might be treading on dangerous ground there - be sure to read her body language very carefully. And talk!
  22. Nina

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